Conspiracy Theory

My husband Derrick and Abby do not get along, but I can't figure out why. He says Abby is sneaky and conniving. Derrick says that when I am not there, Abby sits in his lap and watches t.v. with him. But, as soon as I get home Abby comes running to me like she is terrified to be at home alone with him. She won't answer when he calls her and I have never seen him successfully pick her up without her trying to run off.

For all of you who haven't figured it out yet, Abby is my dog.

He won't admit it, but I think he is scared of her. He says that she makes Nunu the Devil Chihuahua look like an angel. But, I don't know. She always seems so sweet and innocent to me. Really, how can a 5 lb dog do much harm to anything, let alone a grown man?

I have offered to go on the Dog Whisper to get help. But, he is too embarrassed. He said people will never let him live it down seeing how small she is.

Really ... a little dog who dresses up as sailor girl. Lol!

Happy that the doctor had bad news!

One thing that a lot of my friends and family don't know is that I am sick and have been for going on two years now. I am literally in pain every moment of every day of my life. I look fine on the outside and you would never know it by looking at me. But, I feel like I am prisoner in the body of a 75 year old. I am always walking around feeling like I am carrying around a ton of bricks.

I am paranoid that people think that I am lazy, unmotivated, and boring. But, it is hard for me to get through a full day's work or to stay out late on the weekends without feeling like the life hasn't been sucked out of me the following day. Heck, I get tired just going to the grocery store to pick up milk and bread.

So far, no doctor has given me a diagnosis that explains all of my symptoms. But, today I actually felt a sigh of relief when my doctor told me that my ANA test was positive. An ANA test is used to determine if someone has an autoimmune disease, more specifically lupus.

I am not happy to be sick, but happy to finally be able to put a name on why I feel the way that I do. So, I can say "I don't feel well because I have lupus" not just "I don't feel well." I know it is just a five letter word, but it makes me feel so good! It sounds important ... official even! Kind of like the difference between saying "I am a CPA" (certified professional accountant) and "I am an accountant."

I know that everyone has had a moment in their life when they felt so isolated from everyone around them because they didn't feel like anyone understood what they were going through, whether it be physical, emotional, financial, psychological, or spiritual in nature.