If you are over the age of 35 please read!!!

If you are over the age of 35 you should own a home by this time in your life. What is wrong with you that you still must rent? What have you been doing for the last 17 years? Seriously, unless you just got of prison or just got divorced, what is your excuse?

Okay, so you jacked up your credit in college, but you still haven't mastered the idea of what credit is, how to use it, and not living above your means .... in the 13 years since then?

Okay, so maybe you didn't go to college (I will save that one for another day), but you have managed to waste all of your money on luxury cars, expensive clothes, and lavish vacations ... with the help of your credit cards of course.

So stop. Just stop! Stop buying stuff you can't afford, stop using credit. And lastly, look up the word "save" in the dictionary.

Call me stuck up if you want to, but I seriously think that by age 35 you should have it together.

Just wear your wedding band!

So, my husband has this thing where he has to take his ring off immediately when he comes home. And he absolutely refuses to sleep in it. I think that this is ridiculous. What, do you want to dream about not being married? What is the deal?

I kept telling him that he was going to forget to put it on before leaving for work one day. And sure enough one day I went into the bedroom and what do I see on the floor of all places ... his wedding band! And he came home from work that day and I didn't say a word. He thought he had gotten away with it until I confronted him about it the next day. Then it was punishment time ... two options: either sleep on the couch for a night or a third body in the bed. Yep, you guessed it ... Abby! To my surprise he actually chose to let Abby sleep in the bed with us. And of course Abby crawled right in the middle of us.

But, all of this could have been avoided if he just wore his wedding band! My guess is that he is going to have a lot more opportunities to get closer to Abby in the future ;-)

Marriage does not equal kids!

Look, just because I am married does not mean that I am interested in a visit to the maternity ward. One does not automatically equate to the other. I actually like my life, without the thrill of dirty diapers and crying babies.

And stop telling me that I'm gonna change my mind about wanting to have a baby, because I'm not!

Look, I know that misery loves company, but stop wishing such evils on me. Don't get me wrong, I think that children are a blessing from God, but an even better blessing is giving them back to their parents at the end of the day ;-)

Seriously though, if we do decide to have children, I'm gonna skip past the dirty diapers and sleepless nights, and adopt a potty-trained preschooler.

Thanks, but no thanks!

Have you ever been given a gift and absolutely hated it? I'm not talking about the hand knitted scarf that your grandmother gave you, I'm talking about the pink sweater your best friend gave you that knows you absolutely loathe pink. Is it ever okay to say "thanks, but no thanks" when someone buys you something that they should have already known you won't like? Do you always have to say "thank you?"

See, my thoughts are that if your friend is really a friend and wants to know if you like it, you should be able to be honest and say "no." The whole idea of a gift is the thought, right? But, where is the thought if you buy me something that you already know I dislike. The insensitivity is on the part of the giver, not the receiver.

I really need to know if I am wrong about this, so please weigh in on this one. I have made it so that everyone has the ability to comment now.

Conspiracy Theory

My husband Derrick and Abby do not get along, but I can't figure out why. He says Abby is sneaky and conniving. Derrick says that when I am not there, Abby sits in his lap and watches t.v. with him. But, as soon as I get home Abby comes running to me like she is terrified to be at home alone with him. She won't answer when he calls her and I have never seen him successfully pick her up without her trying to run off.

For all of you who haven't figured it out yet, Abby is my dog.

He won't admit it, but I think he is scared of her. He says that she makes Nunu the Devil Chihuahua look like an angel. But, I don't know. She always seems so sweet and innocent to me. Really, how can a 5 lb dog do much harm to anything, let alone a grown man?

I have offered to go on the Dog Whisper to get help. But, he is too embarrassed. He said people will never let him live it down seeing how small she is.

Really ... a little dog who dresses up as sailor girl. Lol!

Happy that the doctor had bad news!

One thing that a lot of my friends and family don't know is that I am sick and have been for going on two years now. I am literally in pain every moment of every day of my life. I look fine on the outside and you would never know it by looking at me. But, I feel like I am prisoner in the body of a 75 year old. I am always walking around feeling like I am carrying around a ton of bricks.

I am paranoid that people think that I am lazy, unmotivated, and boring. But, it is hard for me to get through a full day's work or to stay out late on the weekends without feeling like the life hasn't been sucked out of me the following day. Heck, I get tired just going to the grocery store to pick up milk and bread.

So far, no doctor has given me a diagnosis that explains all of my symptoms. But, today I actually felt a sigh of relief when my doctor told me that my ANA test was positive. An ANA test is used to determine if someone has an autoimmune disease, more specifically lupus.

I am not happy to be sick, but happy to finally be able to put a name on why I feel the way that I do. So, I can say "I don't feel well because I have lupus" not just "I don't feel well." I know it is just a five letter word, but it makes me feel so good! It sounds important ... official even! Kind of like the difference between saying "I am a CPA" (certified professional accountant) and "I am an accountant."

I know that everyone has had a moment in their life when they felt so isolated from everyone around them because they didn't feel like anyone understood what they were going through, whether it be physical, emotional, financial, psychological, or spiritual in nature.